Week 117.
Too little, too late. As always.
Having pretended for weeks there was nothing to see in the mountains of incontrovertible evidence of China’s serious, ongoing interference with Canadian political processes, this past Monday Trudeau announced a patently inadequate inquiry. Then, for the balance of the week, Liberals returned to the denials, veiled accusations of racism, and filibustering of parliamentary committees to avoid having senior Liberal staff put under the much-needed microscope. More evidence, if more was needed, of this government’s resolute focus on its political interest at the expense of the national interest.
All the foot-dragging can only mean that it is taking some time for Liberal party officials nationwide to report back on the extent of embarrassing records of their knowledge of, and complicity in, the activities of Chinese government operatives intent on subverting Canadian elections, and related evidence of scandal. So Ottawa can gauge the amount of stonewalling required.
A favourite client of mine is a Maritimer. A few years ago, he captained a freighter with a cargo of cannabis edibles which ran aground near a Nova Scotia bird sanctuary. As he candidly acknowledged, the disaster left no tern unstoned.
Anyway, he has a novel, nautical solution to the problem. All Members of Parliament will be required to board a vessel in Halifax - which mean-spirited Canadians will be discouraged from calling the Ship of Fools - and sent out to sea with enough food and fresh water for only a month and instructions to co-operate in determining the full extent of foreign interference in our domestic interests and the appropriate solution to it.
Admittedly, for most of the MPs this will not be a new experience, as they have been at sea for some time.
Now we all know this crew will spend the first week arguing over whether the vessel should be called a “boat” or a “bateau”, and the public’s patience during that initial period is essential. Ultimately, Elder Advice is certain the limited food and water will force them to focus. As for the food, in light of the $100,000 grocery tab for the Governor-General’s recent flight to the Middle East, including $1,000 for lemons and limes, no drink garnishes will be permitted. Despite the risk of scurvy. And no alcohol: after all, there is no sense giving the illusion of greatness to the mediocre.
No media will be allowed on board, and no spin doctors, party hacks or cronies. Available reading material will be restricted to texts on good governance and self-help books on how to think beyond the end of your nose, this calendar quarter and the next election. And how not to miss the boat.
Credentialled experts in all fields will be available by ship to shore radio for consultation as needed. None will be in the employ of McKinsey or any other “global management” company.
Use of the word “shipshape” will be strictly forbidden. As if anything is in this country.
Passengers will also be discouraged from making waves and rocking the boat.
Now my client warns that the North Atlantic is famous for its unexpected squalls. The sea is rough and there is a reasonable chance the vessel will founder but, in Elder Advice’s view, the risk is greater that passengers’ chronically loose lips will have the same result, and the more serious concern will be how to distinguish the survivors from the rats deserting the sinking ship. Assuming some are worth saving … the survivors, I mean.
If MPs successfully complete the assigned task, they will be permitted to break out the Peace, Order and Good Government flag that we in Canada used to fly, and sail back to the nearest Canadian port of call.
Elder Advice? What we need at this moment in our history is to get the nation back on an even keel. We need a ship of state for all those who are committed not to stand around and deny the obvious, but to confront issues, devise solutions collaboratively and act decisively. People who have an understanding that it will not suffice to say that virtue is inconvenient or that doing the right thing was too difficult or that the time was not right. Mistakes may be made but the greater error, as always, is to do nothing.
We turned the clocks forward one hour this morning. Elder Advice would like to turn them 365 days ahead. Just to see how this all turns out.
Elder Advice
I always look forward to reading elder advice. Well written as usual with just the right amount of sarcasm. Keep it going Tim