Week 36.
Advocaat is a truly foul-tasting liquor from the Netherlands. I am reliably advised that it is made entirely from lawyers.
I first stumbled across Advocaat one memorable night in 1982 in Amsterdam. About which no more need be, or should be, said. It struck me the next morning how useful that beverage could be. It provides an effective and welcome respite from the large and small irritations of the day. It loosens the tightly wrapped. And, counter-intuitively, it encourages aficionados to consume less alcohol – because it is so foul.
Advocaat comes to mind now for those very reasons.
Like me, I am sure you are exhausted from reading about COVID-fatigue. From trying to figure out how it is, that after 8 months and countless explicit warnings from people who actually know what they are talking about, there are still those who are presumably sentient and literate yet unwilling to put three simple instructions ahead of their self-interest: 1) wash your hands frequently, 2) maintain physical distance from strangers, and 3) wear a mask when you are out, and indoors. Instructions 1 and 2 are nothing new. Their parents gave them both from the time they were toddlers. To be fair, instruction 3 is new to most, unless they are Asian or their parents were Bonnie and Clyde. But it’s not complicated. You wear a mask because it keeps you from killing others - even though wearing it makes you want to.
Yet, this week, Britain is back in lockdown, Sweden has seen a 60% uptick in hospital admissions, and Italy has had over 600 COVID-related deaths daily – numbers not seen since April. An American is now dying from COVID every minute of every day. And Ontario is reporting 1,500 cases a day in November, up from manageable hundreds daily in August. In his daily briefing this past Thursday, Mayor John Tory was understandably and visibly annoyed (read: pissed) at the non-compliance of many Torontonians with the three simple instructions. He reduced his remarks to sentences of 3-5 words each. Because he knows better than to presume people are sentient and literate.
And, as if escalating COVID data and misconduct were not enough, this week we have had to wrap our heads around how American commentators can call black men “white supremacists” and women “misogynists” for supporting Trump. While they are free to argue such voters are ‘misguided’ - and even ‘mentally incapacitated’ as this newsletter has done - they are not free to dictate that all people who have the same amount of melanin or the same number of X chromosomes must think and act alike. And then do violence to the English language in support of such nonsense. Personally, I have never had an issue with the concept that people who look like me don’t think and act like me. Even though, for their own good, they certainly should.
Yesterday, I successfully reversed my dangerously low blood-alcohol content, and that allowed me to enjoy an effective and welcome respite from all those large and small irritations. As for loosening the tightly wrapped, I need no assistance to call out those who deserve to be shamed for failing to comply with mandatory and common sense behaviour for the common good. Which may explain why my grade 8 teacher said I “lack warmth”. But I appreciate others may need help. And alcohol, the perfect solvent, is also the perfect solution. Although frankly, we should all be well past the point of allowing fear of being accused of macro, much less micro, aggression to stop us from publicly rebuking people who refuse to get the message and insist on flaunting their self-centeredness. As for concern over consumption, if you simply make Advocaat your alcohol of choice, trust me, your days of drinking to excess are numbered.
Elder Advice? It’s time. Drink up. Speak out.
And stop complaining about the lawyers who are filing frivolous lawsuits all over the US to contest the results of the presidential electoral vote. As you have just learned, ultimately they can all be put to good use.