Elder Advice

Thinking Inside the Box - 155

These past ten days, as Elder Advice has listened to the efforts of the government to stoke the embers of Canadian patriotism in the face of Trump’s tariffs and vexing talk of annexing, he could not help but think that, if there was any enthusiasm for truth in politics, we would hear:

“My fellow post-national countrymen.

As we face this existential challenge, our nation is struck to its very core. Not its non-existent core identity, mind you. Rather, some other core we are at a loss to describe. The perils of this moment cannot be overstated and, as we either created them or ignored their coming for many years, all Canadians will appreciate that no one is in a better position to advise you of their dangers.

As the shadow of this crisis lengthens, Canadians need to demonstrate a steely resolve. Well, perhaps not steely. Or even aluminumy. But you do need to show your mettle.

Because it is time.

Time for all Canadians to rally. Rally to protect our hearths and homes. Those same hearths and homes so many of you cannot afford and do not have.

Time for all Canadians to speak as one. Or as the 20-30 disparate and discordant provincial, ethnic, racial and gender voices we have striven so mightily to encourage.

Time to support all made-in-Canada businesses. The ones we have so carefully nurtured with our regulatory overreach and our regressive tax policies. And those we have enabled with our deficit-financed subsidies. In the coming days, when we in the nation’s capital are not imagining ourselves fighting on the beaches, in the streets and on the landing-grounds, we shall call on all True North patriots to provide that support, by vigorously spending on the products and services of those Canadian equivalents of Apple, Amazon, Netflix and … well, at least on Aylmer ketchup.

We shall defend our mainstream-free nation, whatever the cost in 60 cent dollars may be.

Canada - by which, of course, we mean Ottawa - Expects Every Man to Do his Duty. As each, of course, may individually define “duty”. Given we deliberately omitted it from the Charter.

So, brace yourselves for the struggle ahead, but be unafraid. Always remember our collective purpose: to ensure that a government, of the Laurentian elite, by the Laurentian elite, and for the Laurentian elite, shall not perish from the Earth. And seek comfort in the immortal and stirring words that, when all else has gone dark, have given our people hope, lo these many years:

“Go, Leafs. Go.”