Week 89.
Elder Advice is burnishing his credentials as an elder. Yesterday he turned 34. For the second time. Which is not to suggest that you take time out from your busy day to shower him with accolades. Or ruinously expensive gifts. However well deserved both may be.
In recent years, Elder Advice has taken to spending his birthdays with his extraordinary Aunt Eva. There are many reasons, not the least of which is the comfort that comes from time with someone who can still make you feel child-like, regardless how weathered and withered you may be.
Aunt Eva tips the scales of age and weight at 96. Born in Berlin in 1925, she has been there. And done that. She radiates the resilience and common sense that are hallmarks of a generation that has faced down challenges. She is sprightly, whip-smart, razor-sharp and ferociously independent. And she drives a standard.
Elder Advice often struggles to keep up.
So I wisely thought that I would forego providing counsel of my own today, but rather advice from the Eldest Elder of my family. Someone who, in every way, was not born yesterday.
On children. Children are unpredictable. They can be brought up identically and turn out differently. There is no accounting for it. It just is. So parents need to be content to applaud when their children succeed, and help pick them up and dust them off when they fail. And allow them do both. And manage their own expectations throughout.
On the elderly. Those in command of their mental and physical faculties know their needs and limits. They do not need to be treated like young children just because they may be similarly incontinent. Think twice before you try to take those car keys away.
On international affairs. Principles are good. Appeasement is bad. Those who have witnessed it, understand it. Lines in the sand are essential, and of no consequence if you allow the sands to shift. Slava Ukraini.
On life.
Curiosity only kills cats; for people, it must be an obsession.
If you are not covered in dog hair, your life is meaningless.
Some things should be done not because they make sense, but because they make you happy.
Build a community around you. Generously and continuously. Elder Advice is in awe of the Eva Enthusiasts. Younger friends and relations devoted to her wellbeing. Neighbours and doctors, lawyers and financial advisors. The entire staff of the local grocer. Other dog lovers. A veritable army of acolytes surround her and keep watch.
Only fear that you will all turn to Eldest Advice prevents me from continuing. That, and my plan to ultimately pass her wisdom off as my own.
Anyway, Elder Advice has already followed the Eva prescription for building a community, and now gets plenty of attention from a number of dedicated young women … or “personal support workers”, if you believe their business cards.
