Until recently, Elder Advice was reasonably certain that logarithms were a form of birth control unique to lumberjacks. Which is as close to an admission that he did not do well in high school math class as you will get. And is the reason he has some sympathy for novice teachers in Ontario who are obliged to pass a math proficiency test - the MPT - before they are permitted to mould young minds in this province.
One of Elder Advice’s favourite clients is a long retired teacher who never tires of reminiscing about his time at an English boarding school. And how the staff beat recalcitrant students with a cane while intoning: “This I do to keep you from the gallows”. Really. He called yesterday to ask whether, in the last paragraph, Elder Advice meant “mould” as in “to influence the formation and development”, or “to produce microscopic fungi which evolve into irritants, allergens and toxic substances”. Which, Elder Advice patiently explained, depends on the teacher.
Elder Advice’s decision to zero in on mathematics, and the MPT in particular, stems from the recent decision of the Ontario Court of Appeal that a lower court ought not to have found the MPT objectionable on Charter grounds on flimsy evidence that candidates of some racialized groups were less successful in passing the test on the first try.
Some of Elder Advice’s acquaintance urged him to be satisfied with the fact that the Court of Appeal was suitably critical of the notion that standardized tests are inherently racist and that both Courts recognized the painfully obvious - that improving math education is an urgent priority - and that imposing a test for teachers on the subject was, per se, a perfectly legitimate means to serve that end. But Elder Advice knows that every silver lining conceals a cloud. Nimbostratus if one looks hard enough. Anyway, it seemed sensible to have gnawing doubts about a test set and administered by the Ontario Ministry of Education. A ministry which, from a mathematical perspective, has been at sixes and sevens at least since Elder Advice was in high school. A ministry which is on record claiming that “subjective” and “racist” are appropriate terms to use in describing the teaching of mathematics. 2021, when the MPT was instituted, was co-incidentally the same year people purporting to be educators treated us to the suggestion that “math equity” can be achieved by “visibilizing the toxic characteristics of white supremacy culture with respect to math” and identified one of the alleged “toxic characteristics” as the regrettable focus on the correct answer instead of “mathematical approximations.”
So Elder Advice subjected the Court of Appeal decision to closer scrutiny and discovered that the real reason for the appeal’s success was not that the premise of the legal challenge was idiotic, but that the MPT limits the assessment of aspiring teachers’ skills and knowledge to the grade 9 level and also permits them to write the test as often as they wish, until they pass. It is fortunate for teachers that, with the elimination of most standards, it is increasingly difficult to find students bright enough to make some objectively reasonable requests for quid pro quos. Such as: “The Grade 12 science test you set is much too difficult. Please limit the test material to the Grade 9 level.” And “I failed your English test. Kindly make arrangements for me rewrite it each week until I decide to invest sufficient time and energy to pass it. And “All school testing must be rigorously assessed to ensure it is not challenging and, in any event, allow for endless re-dos.”
Elder Advice? The public education system is the single most important institution for encouraging equality of opportunity, to offset the real and serious inequality that exists. Inequality that is rooted in economic disparity, and which does not need to be confused and distorted by issues of race, gender, orientation, religion or otherwise. That the present system is broken is beyond debate. Continuing to eliminate standards or creating illusory ones however, is no way to fix it.
Elder Advice had hoped for inspiration and a clever segue from teachers to blondes but, if the MPT silliness teaches anything, it is that he should be entitled to an unlimited number of tries over an unlimited period to come up with something.
Anyway, with the astonishing number of votes the right-wing populist Geert Wilders secured in last month’s election in the Netherlands, Elder Advice suddenly made the connection between populism, blondes and bad hair days. Unruly mops atop unruly heads.
Elder Advice? Honestly, I don’t know why I did not recognize it earlier. While it is impossible not to hear these noisy buffoons coming, it is child’s play to see them coming as well. The New Year will be here soon. Now that you know how to identify them, can everyone please make a concerted effort to reject their kind in 2024?